What family?

Fewer marital unions, higher cohabitations and rising dissociation rates

While the concept of work-family has mostly been preoccupied with the conflicting roles of each domain, and now increasingly how to integrate them, the positive impacts of family in providing belonging and support are less studied. In addition, the work facet of the relationship has received more attention than the family facet, so that there have been more interventions and reorganizations in the former than the latter. This could be because work relations are easier to regulate than are family relations, or on the basis that family issues fall within the private domain. However, the rising number of mental health issues around the globe actively call for research into contributors of well-being. Family support has always been singled out as a means of providing psychological resources for individuals and within the work context, are important in buffering the stress of work, leading to better coping. As already observed, the new age of work guarantees a fair amount of stress, whether with uncertainty, the pressures associated with upskilling or even with finding meaning. This is where it gets a little complicated for the ‘Millennial’ worker. The last half of the century has seen a sharp decline in marriage rates, almost globally. argue that ‘Millennials’ are getting married much later than preceding generations. at the time of her study observed that the average age of entry into marriage for Americans had increased from 23 to 29 for men and from 20 to 27 in women. Within sub-Saharan Africa, marriage was thought to be universal and a requisite for adulthood. No longer. South Africa’s documentation of declining marriage rates, an exercise that has been ongoing since the 1960s, places the current median age of marriage for both genders at 30. In Kenya, the median age of marriage for women is 22 while that for men is 26, up from 21 and 24 respectively.
Some of the reasons ascribed to the growing trend include a reversal of the education gap in favour of women, crippling student loans, an increase in unwed births, which lower women’s marriageability, and the fact that attaining the benchmarks thought to be necessary predecessors to marriage, that is, employment stability, accrued savings and financial security, are taking longer to realize. Although these statistics might paint a picture of disinterest in marriage, the situation is far from accurate. In place of marriage, cohabitation is the new form of unionization for this age group . In addition, marriage and parenthood are increasingly viewed as detached concepts, so that for example in most ‘Millennials’ ranked the desire to be a parent higher than the desire to have a successful marriage. In come the proliferation of all kinds of alternative family concepts such as “living apart together,” “cocooning.” and “helicopter parenting”, which has nothing to do with the aircraft. And these forms of cohabitation are differently nuanced from the previous understanding of cohabitation as a preparatory stage to marriage. In fact, ’s study shows that not only is marriage not a consideration at the onset of cohabitation, it now serves as a waiting point for breaking up, because the cohabiting couple envision a future date when the relationship will end. The concept of an expiry date for love springs from the high rates of divorce witnessed by the parents of this 28-38 age cohort, the commoditization of love on factual television shows such as ‘Love is Blind’ or ‘Married at First Sight’ and online dating and matching sites which fail in their promise to deliver the perfect spouse.
The result is an upsurge of single-parent families, mostly female-headed with the elderly also brought in, especially in the African set-up to care for children. In essence then, the ‘Millennial’ worker, is deprived of the support component from the family set up, making the challenges at work particularly devastating.

Thinning family support and higher care burdens within the African context

One of the most recognized attributes of African culture is the centrality of family or kinship. Far from the common conceptualization of family as a nuclear institution, the African family casts a wide net of membership to include in-laws, grand-parents, grandchildren, unborn children and even intermediaries like ancestors. Even the idea of personhood derives from the place of fitting within the community, so that a person feels seen and knows that they belong. This communal understanding of family creates a center of learning, enables family members to counsel the younger generation, provide mediation when domestic conflicts arise, act as a source of financial support during crises and provide attendance to joyous events such as births and weddings. argues that the traditionally low incidences of suicide in Africa stem from the feeling of belongingness and the assurance that others are concerned with the welfare of the person involved, making life worth living. In order to perpetuate the culture of cooperation and friendship, African communities look for any odd reason to meet and share a meal. So central is this idea of kinship, that various ties are less ‘God’s truth’ relationships, extending to assumed, analogous, or just plainly fictitious ties, such as when Africans meet abroad and formulate some sort of communal tie. But those days are slowly coming to an end. Rapid urbanization has seen many young people concentrate in cities, slowly lose use of their local dialects and begin to consider family in nucleated terms. The reduced contact between family members, on account of the business presented by the new age of work, ultimately weakens family ties, leaving the ‘Millennial’ worker to figure out life with little support. At the same time, the burdens to which the community traditionally came in to intervene are now squarely falling on the ‘Millennial’ worker who in most cases has no family of their own or who is within a family setup that is waiting to disintegrate. The upshot of sub-Saharan Africa’s non-communicable disease burden by 67% within two decades and the fact that African countries have now a higher burden of NCDs compared to global averages means that ‘Millennials’ are devoting a substantial part of their paycheck to support ailing relatives.
At the apex of these responsibilities is parenting in a digital age. Even though the internet has made parenting easier in some ways, such as through providing parenting skills and allowing for greater communication between parents across country lines, it presents challenges in other quotas. Internet safety and technology addiction are prime examples. Parents have a primary obligation, even in the digital age, to be good role models of internet usage, and then, just like in the workplace, to inform their understandings on social media and other digital spaces, enough to safely guide their children. Providing alternative activities offline for children so that they grow in healthy and interactive ways is also critical. However, urban housing especially in high density neighborhoods, compounded by the obliteration of green spaces to create more real estate space is challenging the feasibility of extra-curricular activities.