Conclusion
It is normal for a child to unconsciously demand a certain kind of affection from the parents. This affection resembles that of tenderness, care, support, acceptance, or security. It is unconscious because certainly it doesn’t have the capability yet of labeling or determining a feeling and hence not understanding what affection is in that particular developmental stage, and the degree to which this affection should ideally be felt by the child is relative. When this relative affection is not felt because it’s not granted, it eventually becomes a building block of mistrust planting and developing within the child. It is further unconsciously translated by the child as a form of betrayal resulting in difficulty of trusting him/herself and other people, as trust has been broken before its being learned; or a trauma generalizing that all people are of the same kind as his/her parents are to him/her; or a source of inferiority that lives within affecting his/her established self-perception; or an uncured hatred affecting his/her interaction towards his/her parents, influencing his/her desires for him/herself.
The emerged and developed ‘mistrust’ stays within the child and exists dormant. Naturally, it gets repressed for a time and for another time as the child grows and his/her interaction systems expand, but such will always be regressed depending on the kind of instance that may trigger it. Perhaps there are ways of managing it, but it’s always engraved and part of a person’s psyche, affecting and influencing his/her thoughts, choices, and actions, and ultimately the way s/he carries him/herself and expresses his/her identity in the society.
Demanding a certain kind of affection from parents is innate and natural, starting at that time of conception and developing as infants to early years that such nature starts as unconscious which later becomes conscious. This affection as it comes relative i.e. the degree that one infant demands may not necessarily be the same as others stimulate that its complex in itself to measure and determine.
The ungratifying of this greatly affects the self-concept of the person. It emerged as a form of unconscious betrayal for which mistrust is an offspring i.e. mistrust of the self and other people. It arises and marks in the persona and influences the degree of making interactions, relationships, established self-perception. There may be ways of coping with it but it remains engraved, whereas it comes out when triggered characterized by feeling unseen, fear, inferiority, and hatred depending on situations that unconsciously the self chooses to associate it with, like in the case of the first informant.
The study captured that parenting is a whole world as its own filled with a lot of elements that interplay with each other and influence how the infant child becomes a person of its own. The study marks a sign of another in-depth understanding, and more importantly, serves as a reminder of how one affects another and how one becomes one.
In all that there is and everything that will be “on the crossroads life happens before the self knows it” .