Conclusion
It is normal for a child to unconsciously demand a certain kind of
affection from the parents. This affection resembles that of tenderness,
care, support, acceptance, or security. It is unconscious because
certainly it doesn’t have the capability yet of labeling or determining
a feeling and hence not understanding what affection is in that
particular developmental stage, and the degree to which this affection
should ideally be felt by the child is relative. When this relative
affection is not felt because it’s not granted, it eventually becomes a
building block of mistrust planting and developing within the child. It
is further unconsciously translated by the child as a form of betrayal
resulting in difficulty of trusting him/herself and other people, as
trust has been broken before its being learned; or a trauma generalizing
that all people are of the same kind as his/her parents are to him/her;
or a source of inferiority that lives within affecting his/her
established self-perception; or an uncured hatred affecting his/her
interaction towards his/her parents, influencing his/her desires for
him/herself.
The emerged and developed ‘mistrust’ stays within the child and exists
dormant. Naturally, it gets repressed for a time and for another time as
the child grows and his/her interaction systems expand, but such will
always be regressed depending on the kind of instance that may trigger
it. Perhaps there are ways of managing it, but it’s always engraved and
part of a person’s psyche, affecting and influencing his/her thoughts,
choices, and actions, and ultimately the way s/he carries him/herself
and expresses his/her identity in the society.
Demanding a certain kind of affection from parents is innate and
natural, starting at that time of conception and developing as infants
to early years that such nature starts as unconscious which later
becomes conscious. This affection as it comes relative i.e. the degree
that one infant demands may not necessarily be the same as others
stimulate that its complex in itself to measure and determine.
The ungratifying of this greatly affects the self-concept of the person.
It emerged as a form of unconscious betrayal for which mistrust is an
offspring i.e. mistrust of the self and other people. It arises and
marks in the persona and influences the degree of making interactions,
relationships, established self-perception. There may be ways of coping
with it but it remains engraved, whereas it comes out when triggered
characterized by feeling unseen, fear, inferiority, and hatred depending
on situations that unconsciously the self chooses to associate it with,
like in the case of the first informant.
The study captured that parenting is a whole world as its own filled
with a lot of elements that interplay with each other and influence how
the infant child becomes a person of its own. The study marks a sign of
another in-depth understanding, and more importantly, serves as a
reminder of how one affects another and how one becomes one.
In all that there is and everything that will be “on the
crossroads life happens before the self knows it” .