5.5 Session leaders’ experiences
The announcement that the program would be realized completely online provoked many different reactions in the student facilitators. For some, this change represented a source of added stress, even anxiety and fear, because of a lack of interest in remote teaching, a lack of experience in this modality, and the anticipation of further challenges: “I wasn’t excited, it was stressful, lots of unknowns. I was worried about the [teacher-student] bond, how to interact with them, I didn’t know them, I didn’t know what to expect.” For others, it was part of a continuation of online teaching already implemented. For these session leaders, the new online element was perceived as stimulating and a challenge to face, despite the presence of many unknown factors:
I’m all in, this is what’s asked of me, I do it and I’m happy, though I did have some apprehension because it was new for me and theextra-ordinary youths, so I was like “Oh boy, that too?!” I wasn’t really worried, because . . . I trusted the team directing the project, but there was a lot of unknown information.
As well, eliminating the necessity of travel was reassuring for some. The practice session that took place a few days before the official start of the camp with one youth and their parent allowed for a reduction in unknown variables, an increase in the feeling of control, and thus also diminished stress for session leaders:
I was freaking out, I couldn’t do it, you’re faced with it and you have to do it, and after that, it went well […]. I was really happy because Maël is a great student, he’s happy, he goes along, it gave a good idea [of what to expect]. For me it was my first contact as a teacher with someone extra-ordinary.
Over the course of the initial interviews, the first contact with participants, team meetings, training, choice of activities, familiarization with technological tools and establishing a bond with the youths, stress continued to diminish, making place for self-confidence and pleasure:
Now I’m on board and looking forward to it, I’m confident and I’m excited to see the kids. There’s always a little stress when I see the name pop up, but it’s a good, positive stress, that puts me into action to lead the session. Now what I like is that I don’t see their conditions anymore, they’re complete persons with their own personalities, strengths and challenges. I know which activities they’ll like and which might make them say “Whoa, not sure.” It’s really fun.
At present, the session leaders express that they have found a satisfactory level of comfort and can even see themselves in future teaching experiences when the camp is finished: “Now it’s going well, and I’ll surely do these at music school so I can say ‘OK, it’s good, no problem, I know how it works,’ I don’t have the anxiety I had at first, we’re used to it.” These developments, be they linked to technology use, inclusive pedagogy, or being open to others, can be transmitted to their pedagogical skills and knowhow, and can enrich their range of professional competence.
When asked what advice they would like to have been given at the outset, some session leaders would like to have been told to allow time to get into the experience, that it would be less different from in-person teaching as they feared, and that stress would diminish over time. Others would have wanted to know that they could deviate from the pre-established framework and omit strategies with which they were less comfortable (e.g. pictograms): “Having fun, because when you have fun it shows and that’s what works best.” Finally, earlier selection of and more comprehensive training in software tools and applications would have been appreciated. Overall, the session leaders felt that they achieved as much as they could in the current pandemic context, with the remote-learning formula: “We were well prepared with training, weekly meetings, the team too, we joined forces and we got through it well, we turned it around and I really feel like we attained the maximum that we could with this formula.” Team meetings were found to be essential in a context where newness and unpredictability was such a large part of the student facilitators’ experience. Establishing this practical community allowed each person to improve over the course of the program, through the strengths and diverse experiences of all the team members.